Are You Kidding Me?

by Tom Wise

One of Ann Coulter's complaints is that liberals get all the good slogans, such as "Make Love Not War" and "Change You Can Believe In" while conservative are stuck explaining their positions using slide rules and thesauruses. Basically, liberals take the easy sing-song way to victory and conservatives worry themselves over the wall of success or off the cliff of failure.

There's a good reason for this disparity. Historically, liberals have a difficult time getting the average American to listen to their ideas. This is not so hard to understand, since the truth of liberal ideology is coercion by any means and that Americans don't take kindly to that. Therefore, liberals must "couch" their meaning and "tiptoe" around sensitive topics. Actually, they lie. If they didn't lie, they couldn't get elected. And so, liberals create catchy phrases that sound great in order to hide that the road to their utopia will be littered with destruction and death. They're actually quite good at it by now, having more than 100 years to practice (I think the last good conservative motto was "I Like Ike!" or "Read my Lips").

"Make Love Not War" is a terrific phrase. Nevertheless, it actually means "Be promiscuous because that word is a creation of the same military pig that has caused violence in otherwise peaceful lands. Rise up and show the warmonger American that you can have sex wherever and with whomever you like. It's a protest! Reject the family, social mores, traditions, respect for others, respect for life unborn. And do so because the Defense Department and President couldn't care less about you or your life. Celebrate life with naked dancing and mud while giving Washington DC, your parents, and all authority the finger." It's an immature and irresponsible message. But people, especially young people, dig that. Look, no one likes war except munitions vendors. However, every right you enjoy was enabled and is protected by wars, even those you may feel are unjust. In fact, the soldier protects your right to flip him off.

But, you see, my explanation is not only too straightforward, it's also comparatively drab. Perhaps I could dress it up as "Make sense, not feces!" Well, that's just a poor ripoff, isn't it? How about "Protect the protector!" That's not too bad.

The same goes in politics. It's amazing that Barack Obama was elected President at all. It's not as if we didn't know he loves the Communist point of view. His biography shows this plainly. His friends were and are anti-American radical leftists. He wants to be friends with dictators. And so on. Now, I'm not saying that a small group of Americans aren't thrilled by this but many others are simply bamboozled by his terrific glibness, especially as it concerns those nifty sayings "Change you can believe in" and "fundamental transformation of our country." It's too bad too few realized "change you can believe in" meant "I won't disappoint you like other Presidents. I have an agenda and I aim to put it in your face where you can't deny it. And, by the way, change means permanent change, so expect plenty of executive orders, agency decisions, Supreme court fiddling, behind-closed-doors arm-twisting, and as much fraud as I can get away with." In the same way, "fundamental transformation of our country" is "I don't like the country the way it is, and since I'm spoiled I'm going to push and push until I get what I want! I'll tell you lies all the way through and make you think someone else is lying. And I can get away with it because I've been doing it my whole life." There's really nothing anyone can say to deny these things. I'm certainly not wrong. But many don't care, and in fact relate to Obama's position and his disrespect even for his office. Yet, as I said, the majority of his followers just think he's charming and delightful.

In order to win the next election, conservatives need to fight fire with fire. While still explaining the Obama doctrines and all of his mistakes in very lengthy and dull fashion, candidates ought to also sum it up in a snappy catchphrase:

"Obama again... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

"Obama times two... TOO MANY"

"Eight years of Obama... YOU MUST BE JOKING!"

Unfortunately, conservatives are probably going to repeat the mistake from 2008 and try to slip one by. Rather than confront the problem head on, they will pontificate for hours. They won't speak of Obama's aloof personality, his failures to lead, his failures when he DOES lead. They won't mention, for instance, that he picked the wrong basketball teams for his brackets, the wrong city for the Olympics, or the wrong economic crew, which might lead to the slogan: "HE SURE CAN'T PICK 'EM!" The problem is their own. There is too much focus on skirting Obama personally, as if calling him out on lies is racist, or telling plainly how arrogant he appears is bigoted. By sneaking around, the conservatives not only appear weak and confused but also... well... sneaky. It's time to be bold! We need signs that say, "Oh no you won't!"

Even so, conservatives need a positive message, not just a negative one against Obama. Here are two I found on the web:

(1) "The silent majority is about to speak."

(2) "What he said" (picture of Ronald Reagan).

Keep in mind, these slogans are for conservatives, not RINO's. Caveat emptor.