Monday, August 8, 2011

Mr. Obama Declares War... Again

by Tom Wise

Dateline: August 8, 2011.

The President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama, today fired a warning shot over the bow of the S.S. Standard & Poors. Previously, the rogue credit agency had fired a cannonball into the soft hull of the U.S.S. USA, then claimed to have planted a flag marked "AA+" on American soil. The calm, almost catatonic, commander-in-chief placated the people by proclaiming, “No matter what some agency may say, we've always been and always will be a AAA country!"

Mr. Obama's outburst follows trusted comrade David Axelrod's assertion that S&P cohort, The Tea Party, bore the responsibility for the rift between Mr. Obama's wallet and the United States Congress. Professor John Kerry has also intoned that Messrs. Tea Party should be avoided at all costs, and citizens are advised to place one finger in each ear whenever one speaks.

In other news, the Department of Justice refused to respond to accusations that it has had sexual relations with Mexican drug cartels, even though big guns and marijuana cigarettes were found in the cartel's bedroom.

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